Is Networking Enough? How to Evolve Beyond Networking by Getting Into the "R Zone"
by Debbie Mrazek

Networking can be an exhausting, hit-or-miss process. To make it effective and even enjoyable, move beyond networking to building relationships, operating in your "R Zone". One of the best ways to build relationships is to help someone else obtain what he or she wants. Follow a "give first" policy where, with everyone you meet, your primary objective is to listen for what she (or he) needs, then help her obtain it. By staying in your "R Zone", you will evolve beyond networking and reap the benefits that come from building relationships.

So you’ve decided to do some networking. You attend an after-hours event, business cards at the ready. By the end of the evening you’ve met many people and exchanged a lot of business cards. On the way home, the faces are all a blur. You’re "networked out".

A few days later, you call each person you met, asking each one if she needs your product or service. Most say no. You’re exhausted again.

This could give networking a bad name.

But does networking have to be a nerve-racking, enervating process that leaves you exhausted? No, and it can, in fact, be fun and fulfilling.

"Walking into a room full of strangers is your idea of fun?" you ask. Trust me, it can be fun, but first you’ll have to move beyond networking into the "R Zone" (the "R" is for "relationships") to a place where you’re not networking so much as building relationships.

Here’s the simple, unadorned truth: One of the most effective ways to build a relationship is to help the other person get what she wants first.

This "give first" approach will turn everything you’ve ever known about networking on its ear.

And it’s very simple: Just go into a room full of strangers telling yourself that you’re there only to help each person you meet get what she (or he) wants. Find out what they’re looking for, and then actively listen and ask questions that help you understand their needs. Be resourceful about coming up with referrals and possible options for your new contacts.

When you’re in the "R Zone", you’re not talking to people about high school reunions or past jobs or names of people you know in common. You’re not even being witty. You’re focused on only what the other person is looking for and how you’re going to help her find it. When you come up with the name of someone she can call even if it’s only someone who can point her in the right direction it’s amazing how she’ll warm to you.

There’s an old adage, "It’s not what you know, but whom you know that counts." While the statement is true, it’s an oversimplification. For, as many will tell you, simply knowing an important or powerful person is no guarantee your calls will be returned. The other person must perceive you as worth knowing. And, there’s no faster way to be perceived as someone worth knowing than to give first.

Here are some other tips to help you develop your ability to work in the "R Zone":

• Do less better. One reason many people find networking exhausting is they get frantic, thinking they have to "work the room" and meet every last person there. A better approach is to tell yourself to consider yourself the event a success if you have five quality conversations with five quality contacts. And after you meet five, don’t feel you have to hang around and meet more (unless you want to). Do less better.
  
  
• Speak with confidence. Don’t be shy when it comes to telling new contacts what you can do for them. Speak with calm conviction. Project confidence. Believe in yourself. If you don’t believe what you’re saying, no one else will.
  
  
• Prepare a memorable introduction. Reflect on why clients or customers like to do business with you. Then, write down what you would like to say that sets you or your business apart, the benefits more than the features. Begin with your name followed by your business name. Tell them, from their point of view, how they will benefit from doing business with you, in 20 seconds or less. Practice your "introduction" in front of a mirror. You don’t have to repeat it word for word each time. Just become comfortable with the general concepts and phrases.
  
  
• Join a contact group. Whether an industry association, a charitable organization’s board, or a church group, make an effort to put yourself in situations where you meet new people.
  
  
• Tell people what you want. Although I’ve focused here on helping other people get what they want, you should be clear about what you’re looking for as well when building a relationship. When you give first, it’s amazing how quickly people look for ways to help you find what you need. An effective strategy is to tell people what you’re looking for right after your introduction, something like, "And this week I’m looking for someone who can introduce me to..." or "This week I’m looking for companies who need..."
  
  
• Practice putting yourself in the "R Zone". When meeting new people, make an effort to really listen to what they’re saying and find out what they want. Put yourself "at source" to help them find it.

It’s not enough just to make contacts. To be effective, we must build relationships, something that sounds easier than it is. It takes genuine caring and listening skills that make you a valuable asset in any work situation. Don’t always assume a person you meet at a networking event is looking for a new client or a job. She may be looking for a golf instructor, an electrician, a PC technician, a new car or even a friend! Be there for her. And stay in the R Zone.

Debbie Mrazek is President of The Sales Company located in Dallas, Texas.  The Sales Company increases profitability for clients through custom-designed sales plans and sales management training. Using a proven, step-by-step process for sales success, you can access a road map that immediately increases productivity and enhances natural selling capabilities. Debbie will help you implement a practical, tactical sales training program that targets your strategic sales objectives.
 
To contact Debbie, call her at (972) 618-1880 or Click Here to email her.

 

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